Secret Plans

Has this ever happened to you? You wrestle in silence with the thought of seeking a promotion, moving house, or changing a relationship. When you finally get to the point of airing and sharing your thoughts with a friend, you find out they have been grappling with many of the same questions.

My wife and I have come to the conclusion that everyone is entertaining what we call “secret plans” all the time. Maybe it’s a form of escapism, maybe it’s just daydreaming. We have found that it does not matter how grounded or stable or established someone is. Chances are, they are secretly planning something.

Let’s face it. We all know the grass is greener over there, so why shouldn’t we be thinking about moseying on over? Progress requires change, and because we all want to progress, doesn’t that mean we have to contemplate change?

There is nothing particularly profound about this. I think the point is that we should not think we are alone in our worries, our wants, and our cares. Everyone is trying to figure out the right thing to do, and no one is certain they have figured it out.

One great way to make your plans come true is by sharing them with someone who cares for you. Discuss your desires, evaluate alternatives. Just by saying out loud what you want, you acknowledge your wishes to yourself. And in describing your thoughts to another, you help yourself figure out more clearly what it is you are after. If you can describe something so that someone else understands it, you improve your own understanding of it. Finally, the chances are good that your friend will be a better sounding board to you than you can be to yourself, at least on some points.

So in sum, you can move your secret plans closer to reality by sharing the secret.

Be well.