Billionaire Battles: Life’s a Breeze When You Outsource Decisions

Greetings fellow voters!

For too long, I paid attention to world leaders, multinational non-governmental organizations, and accomplished academics. I foolishly thought these people had the information necessary to solve key problems and an interest in doing so.

Then I saw what happened when Greta Thunberg shook her tiny fist at the potentates assembled at the United Nations and everything changed. I was blind but now I see. Emotional teenagers hold the key.

The young see clearly because they’ve not been corrupted by external influences.

Unlike their ridiculous parents, who grew up spending time in “the outdoors” and talking with other kids, today’s teens have been bathed in better internet since babyhood. What visionaries they are!

How to access the wisdom of teens

Greta is a rare example of an angry teen who gained direct access to the world stage. Most parents are content to let their brood stew in their hormonal cauldrons behind closed doors.

(And the best parents also ensure their kids are packing only sandwiches in their backpacks, but that’s a topic for another day.)

It is thus challenging to directly access the pearls of wisdom borne on the sweet lips of our cherished children.

I have discovered a most amazing proxy: billionaires.

“What the hell, James! This makes no sense. My kids say billionaires are evil and we should grill them up for supper, or something.”

That may be true but it’s not the important part. Ask yourself this:

1. Have you ever heard a teenager say they don’t want to be rich when they grow up? Mere millionaires are so passé. It’s now billionaire or bust.
2. Have you noticed which influencers your precocious tots follow on social media? Not a lot of welfare scroungers among them, eh?

Thus, to know what teens think (and hence what we should do), we need merely look at what the most influential of their role models say.

Elon Musk and Taylor Swift are the new intelligentsia

Boys appreciate Elon Musk and girls appreciate Taylor Swift.² Between the pair, we can be sure we’ve got a broad canvass of what our youth believe.

How helpful, then, that we have their respective endorsements for the presidential race. Who needs divisive opinions on immigration, the national debt, climate policy, inflation, and all the other topics that befuddle us?

Thinking for yourself is hard — I don’t recommend it

We’ve had centuries of following the collected wisdom of the ages. Where’s that gotten us? In the face of leaders’ abject failure, why not submit to the wisdom of children, as guided by billionaire influencers?

If you don’t like these particular influencers, there are others. Oprah, Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner, Beyonce… we are spoiled for wise choices.

In some ways, we have come full circle back to the idea of rule by Enlightened leaders. Democracy subjects us to the whims of plainly idiotic people. Single-leader rule too often devolves into despotism.

When we can leverage the wisdom of that handful of the best among us, and see it implemented by the channeled enthusiasm of our youth, our future is bright indeed.³

Be well

¹ She did not endorse Trump, but you already knew that, didn’t you?

² This is such a gross simplification that I annoyed myself writing it.

³ One can read well by the glow of burning cities.